Sovereignty and Feeling it in my Core

CDFIf you have been around here for the last couple of years you might recall that every year I choose a focus word. (You can find last year’s here, and the year before here.)

This year I am doing things a little differently. I still have a word – while I’ll talk about in a minute here, but you may recall from December’s planning post, that I have also been working with Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map book & daily planner. So I want to share with you how all of this is working together.

The Desire Map

The principle behind The Desire Map is that we all have, at our core, things that we want to feel in our lives (Core Desired Feelings), but instead of building a life that leads to those feelings, we set goals that don’t energize us. We make plans and resolutions that mean we have to work harder or more hours, or goals that we don’t quite reach…and then we feel like crap and beat ourselves up for not meeting them.

By using Core Desired Feelings as a guide, we can set goals that will move us in the direction of the life that feels good and right to us instead. And we don’t have to wait til the end of the year to see if we got there. These feelings are big and deep and it will likely take a while for us to truly integrate them into our lives, but they are also so core to who we are, that we can begin to bring them in right now.

Everyone’s definitions are different, even if two people have the same word. So, I want to share with you my Core Desired Feelings and what they mean to me, and I hope to share with you more through the year about how they are showing up for me. If you are Desire Mapping as well, feel free to share in the comments, and if you aren’t but you’d like to, you can find out more at Danielle LaPorte’s website.

Ok let’s get to it! My Core Desired Feelings:

This is all about energy!  Being energetic and centered instead of tired and scattered, feeling full of life, excited about the things that I am doing in my life, etc. It’s also about feeling content with the direction I’m going in. To feel good about my life, my self, my relationships, and my work. It’s about doing the things that make me feel Plugged In and Lit Up (see below), and also taking care of myself so I can do those things.

It’s also about being healthy and strong and capable of hiking up mountains (for real). I’ve had some health issues over the last few years that are holding me back, so this is partly about taking care of that, but also about letting go of things that drain my energy.

Plugged In:
So  much goes into this one! It’s about being connected – to myself, my wife, my family & friends, my community, my environment, and the Divine. But it’s so much more than that. Being plugged in is also about the energy that flows back and forth between me and those I am connected to. It’s inspiration that let’s me create and it’s the quiet center that let’s me hear the Divine.

And… it’s the feeling that allows me to do my Work as a coach. It’s the flow between my clients and myself when we are in the thick of things. It helps me know what to ask, and what to answer, and when to just hold space and listen. Big, powerful, and electric.

Lit Up:
This feeling comes from within and sines outward. It’s the bright happiness that comes from being plugged in, from the success of achieving a goal, from the joy of working with a client when they have a breakthrough.

It’s that moment of YES! that makes you want to dance around the living room in celebration (you know you’ve done it! and if you haven’t you should give it a try). It’s the perfect day when everything falls into place and you just exude shiny, brightness.

Smart is, for me, about making thoughtful choices that lead me in the right direction. When I am tired or overwhelmed (or hangry from waiting too long to eat) I have a tendency to make rash decisions because they are easier. This usually isn’t helpful and sometimes gets me into trouble ;).

Instead, I want to keep my goals and desires in mind when I am making choices, particularly around money and my business right now, but also in the other areas of my life. Feeling Smart is about feeling like I’m doing my best, I’m doing what’s right and true for me, my family, and my business. It’s about being able to take pride in the life I am creating.

Spoiled for Choice:
It’s been a rough couple of years for me in a lot of ways, and one of the things I have been struggling with is this sense of having to give up one thing in order to have another.  Frankly, I am tired of it. What I really want is to have the opportunity to choose from all the good things. To have options without the big sacrifice, and to choose from the best of all options instead of the lesser of two evils.

This may sound a little selfish, but this is about more than material gain. It also encompasses things like, being able to take time off to spend with my family, being able to choose organic produce instead of what’s on sale that week, etc. It’s about being able to create the experiences of a life well lived.

Word of the Year

I also have a focus word for the year…  Sovereign. My focus word is something that will lead me in the direction of my Core Desired Feelings, but it can also be broken down into some really specific, measurable goals, with really clear results.

At first, I really struggled with the word sovereign, but I found myself being drawn over and over to the image of The Empress from the Tarot Illuminati (gorgeous deck if you want to google it).  So I started to explore the idea of being the empress of my life. An empress is sovereign, she is in charge of not only her own life, but she also takes responsibility for the quality of life of those under her rule. So being sovereign is about taking responsibility for what you do and the effect it has on yourself and the world around you.

So that’s what I am doing. Taking responsibility for whats happening in my life.

You probably notice that it ties pretty directly into feeling Smart, and maybe that it also plays into taking care of myself so that I can feel Vibrant. It actually ties into all of my Core Desired Feelings.

And its actionable. I am a list maker and a planner and I like to have goals. Sovereignty gives me some direction in how I can move towards my Core Desired Feelings this year.

So there ya go. My words.

I’m looking forward to sharing my process with you!


Oh, one more thing…

As part of my year planning I have a list of things I want to do. The list is a little more like a traditional goals list and includes all kinds of things from the simple (go to the zoo) to the complex (learn to spin fire) and from the mundane (paint the living room) to the more spiritual (learn to read the Lenormand Oracle).

I’ll be sharing my progress on some of these things too especially as they relate to developing my Core Desired Feelings.

So why share all of this with you?

We are all a work in progress. Just like you, I am always growing and changing and deepening my knowledge of who I am at my core, and I want to share my own journey with you so that you can get to know who I am.

I’d love to know you too, so I’m inviting you to have a virtual cup of tea with me. Click on this link and set up a time for us to chat. I can’t wait to hear from you!


I know this post was crazy long, so here is a little something to lighten things up!


Note: Full disclosure here, the link to Danielle LaPorte’s website is an affiliate link, so if you purchase anything I will get a little something for the referral. If you prefer, you can always just go to her site directly.


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