Let’s Start a Revolution

What do you want to revolutionize?

A week or so ago, Danielle LaPorte posted this Burning Question on her blog, and as the Burning Question is designed to do, it got me thinking.

What do I want to change in this world? For myself? For YOU?

First, I want to revolutionize the way we identify ourselves.

Too often we identify ourselves by the things we do or who we love. I have written about this before, and I often find myself coming back to it. We are not defined by our roles as workers, wives, or mothers. When we attach ourselves to those roles, we can lose our identity. We are in danger of forgetting who WE are on a deeper level.

What happens when the kids leave the nest, or heck, even when they are old enough to drive themselves to school, and dance class, and baseball games, etc.

What happens if we lose a job, or a relationship falls apart?

What I want to revolutionize is how we stand in our own identity. How we take care of ourselves. How we enrich our own lives. Whenever we do something to make ourselves stronger it radiates out, and we become better workers, wives, mothers, friends, etc.

So what I do, what my work is right here and now, is to work with women to change the stories they have written for themselves, in which they are the supporting character, and help them step into the lead role.

“You’re supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God’s sake.
Kate Winslet as Iris Simpkins in
The Holiday


The second thing I would love to revolutionize is the way we see, treat, and talk to (and about) ourselves and others.

One of the main stories I see in women, including myself, is that they are inherently flawed in some way…not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not stylish enough. At the same time the opposite isn’t ok either… too pretty so she must be a slut, too much money/style/affluence of some sort, so she must be a bitch. It’s a no win situation!

We learn early on to feel bad about ourselves and compare ourselves to others. It happens as early as grade school and hits a peak in high school. (If you have seen the movie Mean Girls, you know the kind of thing I am talking about!)

So what happens when we run into these comparisons when we are young and impressionable, trying to learn how to make our way in the world?

We either shrink away and hide who we really are, try to stay out of the spotlight, and avoid having any attention on us, or we overcompensate and become larger than life in some way, forcing ourselves into what we “should be”.  We carry those patterns into adulthood and the longer we hold them, the harder it can be to break them and write ourselves a new story.

So I want to stop this “girl on girl crime” and help women create a new relationship with themselves and a new way of interacting with others.

So tell me…

What do you want to revolutionize in your own life?

Where are you the supporting character in your life?

Where are you the leading lady?

Where are you falling into patterns of negative relationship with yourself? With others?


  1. gina on March 7, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Go Tina! I hear ya on so many levels…been doing lots of work over the years to be my own leading lady :)……and the work continues……

    • Tina on March 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

      It’s an ongoing process isn’t it?!

  2. Christine (Girl on Fire) Reed on March 8, 2012 at 7:30 am

    Both of these sound perfect to me. I think it starts with your first idea. I wrote about the same thing, simply saying we are not our relationships. But most women around me function from that place and I think it leads to anger and bitterness and then eventually to the jealousy that leads to the second issue here.

    • Tina on March 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

      it’s a vicious cycle… but I wonder if it doesn’t start with the second part – at least for some of us. All of the pressure and comparison as kids and teens when we really just want to find someplace to fit in, so when we find that identity we just latch on.

  3. Loran on March 8, 2012 at 10:44 am

    I’m resurrecting the Flower Power revolution because I want to create more love and peace in the world!

    • Tina on March 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

      I love it,Loran!

  4. Jo on March 8, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Great questions Tina – my answers are a little too personal to share here but I wanted to thank you for poking me in the right direction.

    • Tina on March 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

      I hear ya, this kind of thing gets very personal sometimes.

  5. Pam Belding on March 12, 2012 at 6:14 am

    Phenomenal questions, Tina!! Thanks for asking!
    I want to revolutionize how people accept their own power. We’ve been giving it away for years, only to be left feeling empty and dissatisfied. When we step into our truth, the fear of the unknown cleanses our hearts as our spirit lifts us and everyone around us up. That’s Current Inspiration!
    I’m the supporting character in my family, community and at work and I’m the leading lady of my website, my book and my 4 mile walk around the lake.
    My pattern of negative relationships…I’ve working very diligently at letting go of these, however, I still have the ‘Hounds of More’ that like to show up and push my buttons, as well as the ‘who do you think you are’ monster that likes to hide in my closet. I spent last Friday night cleaning out my closet, so we’ll have to see how that helps!
    Thanks for your wonderful post!! xoxo

    • Tina on March 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

      These are great insights you have into your self, Pam! Stepping into power is such an important revolution, and those inner critic voices can be so loud sometimes!