Let’s Start a Revolution

What do you want to revolutionize?

A week or so ago, Danielle LaPorte posted this Burning Question on her blog, and as the Burning Question is designed to do, it got me thinking.

What do I want to change in this world? For myself? For YOU?

First, I want to revolutionize the way we identify ourselves.

Too often we identify ourselves by the things we do or who we love. I have written about this before, and I often find myself coming back to it. We are not defined by our roles as workers, wives, or mothers. When we attach ourselves to those roles, we can lose our identity. We are in danger of forgetting who WE are on a deeper level.

What happens when the kids leave the nest, or heck, even when they are old enough to drive themselves to school, and dance class, and baseball games, etc.

What happens if we lose a job, or a relationship falls apart?

What I want to revolutionize is how we stand in our own identity. How we take care of ourselves. How we enrich our own lives. Whenever we do something to make ourselves stronger it radiates out, and we become better workers, wives, mothers, friends, etc.

So what I do, what my work is right here and now, is to work with women to change the stories they have written for themselves, in which they are the supporting character, and help them step into the lead role.

“You’re supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God’s sake.
Kate Winslet as Iris Simpkins in
The Holiday

 

The second thing I would love to revolutionize is the way we see, treat, and talk to (and about) ourselves and others.

One of the main stories I see in women, including myself, is that they are inherently flawed in some way…not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not stylish enough. At the same time the opposite isn’t ok either… too pretty so she must be a slut, too much money/style/affluence of some sort, so she must be a bitch. It’s a no win situation!

We learn early on to feel bad about ourselves and compare ourselves to others. It happens as early as grade school and hits a peak in high school. (If you have seen the movie Mean Girls, you know the kind of thing I am talking about!)

So what happens when we run into these comparisons when we are young and impressionable, trying to learn how to make our way in the world?

We either shrink away and hide who we really are, try to stay out of the spotlight, and avoid having any attention on us, or we overcompensate and become larger than life in some way, forcing ourselves into what we “should be”.  We carry those patterns into adulthood and the longer we hold them, the harder it can be to break them and write ourselves a new story.

So I want to stop this “girl on girl crime” and help women create a new relationship with themselves and a new way of interacting with others.

So tell me…

What do you want to revolutionize in your own life?

Where are you the supporting character in your life?

Where are you the leading lady?

Where are you falling into patterns of negative relationship with yourself? With others?