Today we have a guest post from Robyn Lindsay. Robyn was one of our contributors for the Leap into Love, and I am honored to share her raw and powerful post with you.
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Have you ever sold your soul? I have.
I sold my soul as a teen when I gave my body over to boys who didn’t love me in hopes of them liking me.
I sold my soul during my first marriage in hopes of being the best wife and mom and daughter in law that ever walked the planet thankyouverymuch.
I sold my soul to a second husband because I thought he would be a good caregiver for me as I died from multiple sclerosis.
How did all the soul-selling turn out? Let’s see…
I was raped as a teenager, no doubt because I came across as “easy”.
After 12 years of marriage, my first husband told me he simply didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t speak to my ex in laws for years.
And I found out that I was MIS-diagnosed with MS, so I wasn’t dying and I was stuck with a terrible husband.
So, selling my soul worked out really great, huh?
I can pretty much guarantee you that it won’t work out any better for you. Yeah, I just said that. It will NOT work out better for you.
Selling your soul can only lead to painful experiences.
Yet, as women we so often do it. We don’t believe in our self worth. We feel like we have to bend, to morph, to change so that others will accept us. We go above and beyond, seeking the smallest morsel of acceptance.
Ever hear the phrase “seek and ye shall find”? Yeah, that totally applies here. If we seek the smallest morsel, then we get the smallest morsel. That easy.
So what would happen if we seek the highest amount of love and acceptance? That’s what we would get. But it has to start with us.
We must first give ourselves the highest amount of love and acceptance before we could possibly expect it from anyone else. This is no easy task, I know. We are taught from a very young age to give more than we expect.
Do me a favor. Re-read the 2nd section. See all those bad things that happened to me? Guess what? I am thankful for each and every one.
Yes, I have gratitude for all that crap because it formed me. It shaped who I am. I made it through the rape, the bad marriages, the horrible relationships, the medical scares. Each one strengthened me. Each one made me have to rebuild. Finally I learned to not look to others to complete me.
I could love myself and be whole.
Guess what happened after I started loving and valuing myself?
I created a life that I love. I met a wonderful man who would do anything for me. Together we have created a completely drama free home (I can breathe easy Every. Single. Day).
I found my life purpose. Family relationships improved.
All because I stopped selling my soul.
I challenge you to love yourself. Value yourself. Hold yourself in the highest regard.
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Robyn Lindsey is a certified grief and empowerment coach living in the Pacific Northwest with the love of her life and two cats. She is a mom to three young men who are blazing their paths in this world.
She can be found online at:
Website: www.robynlindsey.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/empoweredlife1
Twitter: www.twitter.com/empoweredlife1
Thank you Tina for having me here again! So glad to call you friend!
It is my pleasure to have you here! I appreciate your openness. This is such a powerful story and I thin most of us can see something to relate to within it.
So glad to call you friend as well!
This is such a hugely powerful story, Robyn – I think it cuts closer to home than many people would like to admit. But we do – we sell ourselves every day that we don’t value ourselves. Without knowing our intrinsic worth, not just to the world but to ourselves, we can’t help it. Only by standing in our power, knowing ourselves, and respecting our boundaries can we stop selling and start living.
I absolutely agree Ellie… I sold my soul for yearrrrrrrrs…. and then… only then did my real life begin. After all the selling stopped.
Oh Robyn, what a moving story! So inspiring that you alchemized those terrible experiences into a life of gold.
I’ve sold my soul in numerous ways too, though almost always without realizing it. And like you, my real life began only after I stopped!
YES to true self-love, self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-respect!
Oh yes… I’m certain I never knew I was selling my soul until much later… but how wondrous life is now that I’ve stopped that silliness!!
I love that you can now breathe freely every single day. The key is that you stopped selling your soul. You. There are always going to be buyers. I’m glad you aren’t selling!
Thank you Loran!
Robyn,
What a beautiful and corageous story! Thank you so much for sharingg it with us!
Selling our soul is too easy when we are afraid of not even getting that one little crumb, We have to trust that we deserve more, and will get it as long as we value ourselves!
thank you!
Marta
Precisely, Marta! Thank you!
Beautiful Robyn! I think you are right, all too often women “settle” for less than they desire because they do not see their own worth, they have been blinded to it by others who perpetuate that myth of better to have something than nothing.
You never really sold you soul though- maybe just lent it out – youl soul and all it’s (your) wisdom is shining through loud and clear!
Thank you Petrea! And you’re right… I think it’s a common thing.
Thank you for sharing your story Robyn, so powerful! We so often believe that it is easy and safe to sell our souls because we are so afraid, but as you have discovered yourself, self-love is the best foundation for creating the life we want.
I am glad you can now breathe easy every single day
Thank you Emmanuelle!
Wow – thought-provoking post, Robyn. I think, if I’m brutally honest about it, there actually *are* ways I’m selling (or at least renting out) my soul at the moment that I’d REALLY like to stop but don’t feel as though I’m in position to do so right now.
Ick. I’m really wishing I hadn’t asked myself the question… which just tells me I almost certainly needed to :-S
the truth sets us free. i can’t believe how true that statement is. each of us with our story and our guts and glory and messy messy lives have such power to take back what we’ve lost…or what we thought we lost. the truth is, we’ve always been there for ourselves. listening is the key. xoxo.