A few days ago, a friend of mine posted a link to this video (you may have seen it on the Open Roads facebook page). If you haven’t seen it yet I really encourage you to stop and watch it. I can wait…
This video has been on my mind a lot since I first saw it, and it’s making it’s way around the web this week.
There is a point in the video (around 7:15) where he talks about his “crap or cone”philosophy. It basically says that at any given moment there are a million negative things dragging folks down (the crap), and a million beautiful things happening too (the ice cream cone), and the thing that distinguishes joy from unhappiness in your life is where you put your focus.
Are you focusing on the crap or the cone?
This was brought to my attention in a really concrete way a couple of years ago when I was training for my Energy Leadership Assessment certification. As part of the certification, we all had to take the assessment, which measures where your personal energy is, especially under stress. And it shows you on a graph. Right there in black & white. (There’s no hiding from a bar graph people!)So this is what I have been thinking about this week… and I would have to say that I have had definite crap tendencies. I’ve spent too much time focusing on the bad things happening and falling into “woe to me” territory.
When we got the results I saw that my highest number was a level 1, in simplest terms – victim energy.
I was disappointed and sad. Most of my friends had higher energy than I did, and I started to compare. (I am sure you can guess where this is going.)
But here is the turn around.
That time, learning what it meant to have so much victim energy and seeing how it was holding me back, was a wake up call.
Since I now knew that falling into victim mode was my default when anything stressful happened, I could more easily recognize the signs and start to break the cycle! This was HUGE!
I would catch myself going to ‘the bad place’ (that’s what my best friend and I call it), and reframe my thinking, or call my bestie and get a reality check, or talk through it with my coach. I didn’t have to live in it.
Now, I am not saying that I have perfect focus on the cone all of the time now. The crap tendencies are still there, and like any old pattern of behavior, it will take a while and some work to completely shift them. But I bounce back faster and stronger every time.
Recently, I had a chance to take the assessment again. I was so excited to see that bar on the graph change! And I know, that if I keep working on it, and keep refocusing on the cone, life will just get better and better.
I believe this 100%.
Where are you focusing?
Crap or Cone?
Need help finding the cone? Let me know. The Essential Energy Diagnostic can show you where your crap tendencies gather and together we can get you focused on the CONE!